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bgood newsletter #18 - garlicky-green eating championship

Hey Everyone,

Summer's just about gone.

And as you bask in the last, happy days of her warm sunshine, we still wallow in the damp darkness of defeat haunted by a sad memory of what happened last September.

The memory has become a terrible nightmare that makes us want to choke ourselves and punch each other in the face.

In it, a skinny, 4'11", 98 pound, female vegetarian chases us around our restaurant smiling as she skillfully chews a mouthful of spinach and taunts us as we choke on our wads of garlicky-greens. Our faces are blue, our gag reflex is more than active, and she is laughing and dancing a stupid little jig. We scream in horror and Jon cries. (Easy Jon, easy little trooper... it will all be over soon.)

But, unfortunately, this isn't just some kind of bad dream. We can't just wake up and make this evil, hungry, little specter of spinach go away.

No, Oxalic Alice is real and so are her daily attacks upon our young, sweet restaurant to take what's hers - free food.

And when she comes, the pain cuts deep. But, it's much more than the free food that hurts.

It's the self-loathing that ravage the minds of two grown-men who are the pathetic losers of their own spinach eating contest and it's the shame that comes from watching a small woman wear their championship belt that could be wrapped twice around her waist. (A belt they were stupid enough to pay $300 for on eBay.)

But, in just 1 week, the suffering will be over. You hear that Alice, you mean little spinach queen. You're going down, buddy.

On Tuesday night, September 20th, we're hosting our 2nd annual Garlicky-Green Eating Championship and our champ, Oxalic Alice, has agreed to put it all on the line - she's willing to give up her belt and her free food to anyone who can beat her.

So, after a year of shame, the night of redemption is finally upon us. And we are ready.

12 months of training has molded us into finely-tuned spinach vacuums who will bring the belt back where it belongs (somewhere in a cluttered pile of dirty clothes, half-eaten Entenman's pastries, and broken restaurant equipment in Anthony's cave-like basement apartment).

We have become ravenous spinach predators with an unquenchable thirst for nausea, acute stomach pain, and food-induced unconsciousness.

And while your attempts to keep us from our glorious return to the throne of "healthier" fast-food competitive eating are futile, we really want you to enter our contest anyway.

To enter, click http://www.bgood.com/contest-greens2005.php and tell us why you're a contender. We will choose the top 5 entries to compete (and because of last year's unfortunate outcome, we've decided to change the grand prize to FREE FOOD FOR 1 YEAR).

And to celebrate our first night as champions of the world, we're giving you, our family of newsletter subscribers, free b.good burgers topped with lots of garlicky-greens.

Just print this out, come to b.good on the night of the contest (Tuesday September 20th from 5 - 10 pm, THE CONTEST WILL START AT 7:00), eat free burgers, and cheer for us as we eat our way out of mental anguish. (Don't worry, we'll send an email reminder on the night of the contest that you can bring in for your free burger.)

And when you come, please bring this newsletter (or the reminder we'll send) with you. To clear up any confusion, please tell your friends that they must already be part of our family to get their free burger. (No copies of someone else's newsletter or forwarded emails. Violators are subject to paying for their burger and then being forced to sit in the middle of the restaurant while Cremildo, our passionate grill-man, whispers: "You are so beautiful. I love you. I love you very much. Kiss me. Kiss me like you love me." to them over and over.)

As always, if you know anyone crazy enough to want to become nauseas from stuffing their face with saut?ed spinach or anyone who just wants the free food that usually comes with this newsletter, forward them this email and tell them to join our family at bgood.com.

Anthony & Jon

P.S. We've already got 1 title contender. Varun Chirravuri chewed his way to an automatic bid in a regional garlicky-green eating tournament we held last week at MIT. To see the finest competitive eater on MIT's campus, click http://www.bgood.com/mit-contest.php