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newsletter #60 - a bigger, stronger, faster shake-cart

Hey Everyone,

When you’re on a quest to make the greatest fast-food restaurant on Earth, you’ve got to constantly improve every part of your business (even the weird parts like this flame-covered milk-shake-maker-on-wheels).

And when one of your cashiers is a MIT engineer-with-a-giant-afro named Cassie, you’ve got the brains, mechanical ability, and hair to make it happen.

So, after months of cutting and welding in a MIT lab, Cassie is nearly ready to unleash our new-and-improved shake-cart upon the streets of Boston, Cambridge, and Brookline.

And just like our first-born, shake-blending love-machine named Terremoto, this new 5-wheeled monster-baby has the same booming stereo, the same PA system that makes animal sounds with the push of a button, and the same boat batteries that lets us blend fruit and ice cream where no other restaurant has ever powered a blender before (like T-stations, parks, offices, and the Charles River). But, our new cart is bigger, stronger, and faster because it’s made from heavy steel, marine plywood, and random bike parts. (Oh yes, we’ll now spread b.good love by pedaling a weird, indestructible, free-shake-making rickshaw.)

And as Cassie puts on the final touches (and gets kicked out of the MIT lab that closes tomorrow for summer break), we need to know what to call it.

Tell us what we should name our new shake-cart.

Our winner will drink FREE SHAKES ALL SUMMER. (And more importantly, they’ll also have a huge picture of their face permanently stuck on the front of our new cart.)

Then, after you’ve entered our contest and dreamed of a summer of free blended beverages, come sip on a free mango one right now.

To drink your free mango shake, just print this email (or show it to us on your phone), come see us anytime today, May 28th, AND BUY OUR NEW SPECIAL – THE CAROLINA BBQ TURKEY BURGER. (Yes, starting today, we’re bringing back that old favorite. And just like you remember it, our house-ground turkey burger is covered in hand-cut, southern slaw and homemade, spicy bbq sauce.)

No copies or forwards. Violators aren’t just subject to paying for their mango shake. They’re subject to Wendee, a b.good family member whose party we catered last month. Unlike our typical catering gigs where guests mingle, relax, and eat burgers, the house-ground sliders we delivered to Wendee’s house were eaten by a bunch of people dressed like pirates. Clearly, the hostess of a drunken, burger-eating, pirate party is the perfect girl to protect us from any of the deadbeats who try to impersonate our kinfolk today.

As always, if you know anyone who likes naming rickshaws or anyone else who wants to be loved like family, forward this and tell them to join ours.

Anthony & Jon

P.S. The Carolina BBQ Turkey isn’t our only beautiful menu addition. That’s because today we’re grilling fresh zucchini as our new Seasonal Vegetable. And we’re grilling it up with balsamic vinegar, fresh basil, and parmesan cheese.

P.P.S. Even if you’re not hosting a bunch of drunken pirates, we’d still love to cater your party this summer. But, just in case you like manning your own grill, we made this order page so we can do the grinding for you. That way, you can grill our fresh, raw patties (beef and veggie) or chicken breasts with all your favorite toppings at your next shindig.

P.P.P.S. Supposedly, “all press is good press”. Well, our disproportional facial and bodily structures (especially Anthony’s disturbing on-camera similarity to a fat, hairy turtle) really tested the limits of that saying this month. Yes, in May, we looked weirder than ever in the great press we got from Chronicle, The Brookline TAB, and WBZ 4 News.